Today, Rick Santorum pays a visit to the San Ramon Valley of California for a little campaign fundraiser. I ask you: Who in California doesn’t want more Santorum?
The valley includes the towns of Diablo (that means Devil in Spanish; a town that went to Hell recently when they allowed Jews to join the club) Alamo, Danville, and San Ramon. But the valley’s crown and glory is Blackhawk. According to Wikipedia… The community is mostly upper class caucasians who enjoy the company of other upper class caucasians exclusively. The community also enjoys a low crime rate due to the high percentage of boring. If that didn’t capture it for you, here’s a song about Blackhawk from the punk group Rancid. Fittingly, for fans of Santorum, it’s called…
Come on baby won’t you show me what you got
I want your salvation
There’s a neighborhood called Blackhawk
where all the rich people hide
I was down on my luck working for the Salvation Army
The shelter is where I reside
Every day we drive into Blackhawk
and we pick up the offerings—
microwave… refrigerator for the suffering
What a great tune—and a sad cry for help. If only Rancid had heard the Gospel of Prosperity they wouldn’t be working for the Salvation Army!
I bet after this fundraiser, he’ll head straight to a poor community and get them enraged on behalf of the people of Blackhawk. Well played, Santorum…well played…