Stick it in Reverse with Women!

Birdbrain
When it comes to driving the bus, we know the R in Republican stands for “reverse.” Now, the R also stands for Refusing to Reauthorize—in this case, the Violence Against Women Act. In celebration of their bravery, I bring you…

Stick it In Reverse with Women: Top 10 Reasons for Republican Repression of Women 

  1. The Declaration of Independence says all MEN are created equal—not WOMEN. Women couldn’t even vote then! Those were the days…
  2. Hilary Clinton? FEMINAZI
  3. MAYBE a woman can be Vice President — but only if she’s really good looking. (Note to Rs: Change Constitution so VP is like a booth babe at a car show).
  4. Assuming America is a dog with worms, according to this Republican, the problem is that the worms can vote.
  5. Women should have no RIGHTS … and all responsibilities.
  6. This country went to Hell when it established Mother’s Day, but lucky for us the holiday didn’t include the Women’s UN Security Council that Julia Ward Howe envisioned. We must be vigilant—it could still happen!
  7. Women should be like canaries in the coal mine of society: honored to collapse—giving us our first clue that our health is in danger.
  8. Hooters, anyone? I may be a vulture, but I love those owls…
  9. Since women make babies, they control our destiny. Ergo we must control theirs.
  10. To recap: Women exist for one a reason—for men to stick it to (literally, figuratively, and legally). Birth control is THEIR problem. Just like child support and early childhood education.

SO… VOTE REPUBLICAN, LADIES!

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